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I wonder if it would be more helpful for me to her in describing the positive alternative to idolatry in a new relationship so that she might recognize idolatry as the opposite of these things and so would be able to put her energies not so much into avoiding something, as pursuing something. It seems to me that there are at least three ways that Nora can think about the way her new romance relates to her relationship with Jesus. How does her affection for the boyfriend compare to her affection for Christ? Second, she can think of her relationship to this young man as an expression of her relationship to Jesus.

And, third, she can think of this new romance as a way of strengthening or building her relationship with Jesus.

Things nose-dived when I learned some truths about a man several years my senior and a 40 year old for that matter.

His feelings were as flat as the floor of the great Rift Valley. While clubbing and hanging out seem ideal for a younger man, most 40 year olds don't fancy such. He liked watching international news and football all the time. Of course I pretended to have interest in such things. Not once did we go to clubs to drink,dance and make merry like all my girls were doing. Things nose-dived when I learned some truths about a man several years my senior and a 40 year old for that matter.

I depend on him for my happiness, and I think about our relationship more than I think about my relationship with God. And what does relational idolatry look like for someone in a new relationship like mine? It seems to me that Nora already has a significant picture in her mind of what idolatry looks like, because she thinks she is in it, at least in some measure.

However, I find myself making our relationship and my boyfriend an idol.

He never felt jealous, was never possessive, lost his temper or even shared his fears and hopes on life. Let me not talk about the depressing music I listened. Music that was sung by people you can't identify with. His perfume was masculine and tended to spread its fragrance in our short term relationship. On dates , he swapped away the bill without the slyness of twenty something men. Though divorced and never married, he had peculiar habits that are only common with a man that age.

While a man in his thirties will fight for his woman and protect her with his life, the case is different with a forty year old. Then they will go on and on about those songs and how they listened to them in those olden days. He was nostalgic about the good things he did in his youth but he can't do them now. Once upon a time, when the relationship God's were smiling at me, I dated a 40 year old man. He wore expensive ankle length boots that no man in my village or within my circles could afford. The kind that would say depressing things like: He ensured that my arm is safely tucked in his arm when we walked. His feelings and lovey dovey were at an all time zero. It therefore goes without saying that the fear of losing a love interest never occupies his mind.

They will even send you videos of heart breaking music like . At some point,he kept complaining about our age difference. Poor me who was only 26 and without even a bicycle learned about all this through friends. His feelings were as flat as the floor of the great Rift Valley. ALSO READ: He insists on knowing my sex history, should I tell him?

They dismiss contemporary musicians as not good enough. They are just responsibilities that he already took care of. While I was ready to hold it all up and be there for this 40 year old, the unexpected happened. He never felt jealous, was never possessive, lost his temper or even shared his fears and hopes on life. While clubbing and hanging out seem ideal for a younger man, most 40 year olds don't fancy such. He liked watching international news and football all the time. Of course I pretended to have interest in such things. Not once did we go to clubs to drink,dance and make merry like all my girls were doing.

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