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I’d expressed intentions of joining Facebook and connecting with her batch mates in the hope of finding out about her past and whether she had sex before marriage. Normally I would tell you to close your eyes, take a deep breath and let it go.

She vehemently opposed this and refused to give away even the names of her classmates. In spite of what all this might suggest, I love her. Usually you achieve nothing by finding out the details of your spouse’s sex-life before he/she met you.

And their interference in it is entirely unwelcome.

Spouses might have the right to ask each other private questions.

You’ve mentioned one of her friends has tried dropping you hints about her past.

The only way knowing everything about one’s spouse’s past life can help is in tackling nosy outsiders like this friend, eager to spill the beans and laugh as the two of you shred your married life to pieces.

There are a few specific situations in which you may continue to use your maiden name.

You have to make it very clear to your parents and the rest of your family that you and your wife respect them and have responsibilities towards them, but your private life is yours.My father has recently taunted her with this overheard info first time in three years. At the same time I can’t drive away the visions of her having sex before marriage with another man.I find myself wondering about the details like how she managed to have sex before marriage with anyone in a small town, how deeply in love she must’ve been to have disregarded the most important family restriction, whether she gave him farewell sex etc.Their parents and extended families have absolutely none.But each Indian family works in its own complicated way (don’t take it personally, I know “we’re like that only”;)).

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